I saw a commercial on the television this weekend, it was for a drug and alcohol rehab facility. The commercial stated that 83% of people who go to rehab will relapse. 83%!?!? This number floored me. 17% get it, 17% make the transition. Rehab is expensive, it seems with all we know of addiction today there could be a better way?
I have almost 8 years clean and sober, I didn't go to a traditional rehab facility. I went home. My mother took care of me through the withdrawals, she put me on a special diet, sent me to a therapist a few times a week, I did go to 12 step meetings almost everyday for the first 90 days, I went to a healer every few days for the first 90 days as well, practiced meditation, and I was in the gym every single day for a couple of hours. It took a village!
My time in the gym is where I began to see the possible healthy me coming out. I was terribly out of shape, very soft, had a nice grey hue to my skin, I smoked, and had a head full of "I can't". I remember making a motivational playlist for my iPod, the voices and thoughts in my head were so loud that I used the music to drown them out. This was the only way I was able to stay on the treadmill, the quit in me was powerful!! It has taken years for me to reprogram my brain, it still wants to go to "fuck it" all the time. If I live in "fuck it" what will I ever accomplish?
I would sweat and suffer in that gym to the point of exhaustion, my addiction wanted to fight, my will to live was fragile, the only way I knew to kill the addiction and strengthen the will to live was to sweat. I would wake up go to the gym, workout for a couple hours, go home, eat, shower, sleep, wake, therapy, eat, workout, sleep, meeting, wake, eat, workout, cry, therapy, shower, sleep, etc....i was blessed. I found my strength in the gym, the day I was able to run, and lift, and jump again is the same day I realized if I can do this, make my body strong again, then why can't I make my life strong again...and I did.
I will share lessons I learned along the way, and share how I continue to struggle, grow, and live. Stay tuned.
It is so true how many of us have inner demons that want to make there way to the surface. It hard times I used to work out to mask what was really going on in my life. Now I finally have the balance of living a healthy life (both mentally and physically). While I still find challenges in life, what is so key is having that balance of nourishing the mind and the body. Thanks for writing and for staying strong!
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